“The children have parents, and those parents can take care of them for once in their lives. You are not responsible for solving the problems they created themselves.”
She was right. Of course she was right. But decades of conditioning don’t disappear with one conversation.
“I’m scared, Paula. Scared of what they’re going to say, of what they’re going to think.”
“And what about what you think? What about what you feel? Celia, you’ve spent your whole life worrying about what others feel. It’s time for someone to worry about you. And if no one else is going to do it, then you have to do it yourself.”
We hung up after agreeing on the trip details. Paula would pick me up on the 23rd at eight in the morning. We would take only what we needed—comfortable clothes, swimsuits, books. No stress, no obligations.
The next few days were strange. Amanda called twice to confirm that everything was ready for Christmas.
“Yes, Amanda. Everything is under control,” I replied.
I wasn’t exactly lying. Everything was under control. My control, not hers.
Robert sent a message: “Mom, we’re dropping the kids off with you on the 24th at 10:00 in the morning. We’ll be back on the 26th in the evening. Thanks for doing this.”
I didn’t respond. I just left the message on read.
On the night of December 22nd, I started packing. I took a small suitcase out of the closet and put it on the bed. I didn’t need much— a couple of comfortable pants, light shirts, sandals, my swimsuit that I hadn’t used in years.
While I was packing, the doorbell rang. It was late, almost nine at night. I went downstairs, feeling a little surprised, and opened the door.
It was Amanda. She had a bag in her hand and a forced smile on her face.
“Hi, Mom. I brought you this.”
She held out the bag. Inside were packages of cookies and juice boxes for the kids.
“You know how they like to snack.”
She didn’t invite herself in. She didn’t even ask how I was. She just handed me the bag like someone delivering a package.
“Amanda,” I said in a calm voice. “I need to tell you something.”
